Whose money is it anyhow?

As a man, it is obviously important for me to control all the finances. Women simply have no concept of money or saving and should not be left in control of fiscal matters. Therefore, imagine my horror when I learned one of my colleagues has rescinded all control of the finances and handed them over to the wife. Of course, the phrase ‘handed over’ is a little misused here as it appears he wasn’t man enough to stop her taking them. A shocking state of affairs.

Now, he is issued with pocket money each day. ‘Going to the gym dear? Here’s your £1.50’. She doesn’t even give him a weekly allowance. Not even trusted with that. The situation has got so bad, he can’t even afford to take his colleagues for a cuppa, let alone a beer. On the rare occasions he has control of a cash card, the maximum withdrawal is £10 to protect his hearing when he returns home.

Not content with his fiscal emasculation, he has recently expressed an interest in women’s clothes and other attire. Whilst proclaiming that being outfitted in a dress and high heeled shoes was simply stag night high jinx, his further comments about ‘quite liking it’ suggest a far darker side. His obvious latent desire to become a woman (clothes, money etc.) should be a warning to his wife.

I do, of course, use the word ‘wife’ reservedly. Whilst getting married in a nice location is clearly important, lying to your vicar about your place of abode will invalidate the banns and therefore your marriage. So, perhaps she should really be referred to as cohabite, or at best, common law wife. The phrase ‘anyone know of any lawful reason why they may not wed’ could well come back to haunt him, but only if the wife allows it.

So, perhaps he should act on his latent desires, take the plunge and simply have the operation. A quick nip and tuck and he can stop living a lie. His issues with the missus can easily be resolved with a quick civil ceremony. Do you Isabel (post op) take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?