Office Nutters

Why is it that every office I work in has a resident nutter? You know the type of person. On the face of it a very jovial, happy person, but underneath a maelstrom of conflicting emotions, mostly dark, making an outburst possible at any time. The kind of person who thinks nothing of telling someone they are ‘talking b*****ks’. Always given the projects nobody else will touch with a bargepole, they are particularly good at ‘networking’ and communicating via the ‘telephony’ systems. A project managers best friend and worst enemy, all at the same time.

Differing levels of office nutter exist, the absolute pinnacle being those who enjoy the look of fear in others eyes as they speak. Not only do they know exactly what weapons Michael Ryan used, but projects the image that some of the same emotions may be present. They enjoy winding up their colleagues by showing a knowledge of guns and associated equipment (explosives etc.) generally upsetting to these people and heightening the sense of foreboding. Indeed, one could almost say, people just like me.

Whilst discussing the use of a diesel generator fuel tank as an improvised explosive device in a huge fuel-air explosion is obviously a very interesting topic, some colleagues do tend to find it upsetting and unsettling. Indeed, the same could be said of an equally interesting discussion around the benefits/disadvantages of offensive and defensive hand grenades and the current British and American inventory of said items. Some people really are just too sensitive. A liking for running around WWII FPS games, shooting everyone in sight could be a harmless outlet for aggressive feelings. If this outlet ever disappeared, they would need to go somewhere!!

Alongside the homicidal tendencies, often comes geekism. This appears in various ways. The excessive knowledge of weapons is obviously one example, but a need to develop ludicrously large LANs covering many buildings is another good example. Whilst any security is good, having at minimum three firewalls between your PC and the internet could be considered excessive. Choice in films is another identifying trait. Liking Star Wars (any of them) is OK, but siding with Darth Vader and the ‘dark side’ is indicative.

So, need their colleagues be worried? Well, nobody really knows. Until it happens, everyone laughs about it. Afterwards, they don’t!!